[Warmth floods through Derek when he hears Erica smile, as totally rude as she might be by laughing at him getting smacked in the face, and he starts to relax. There's still tension in his shoulders, especially when she comments on her own death like it's nothing, but for the most part he's just letting himself breathe so this conversation can go where it needs to go. His eyes flick down, and they meet hers for maybe the first time since he arrived here, and when he speaks there's a measured steadiness to his tone.]

I'm not here to force you to like me, Erica. I've done awful things to you, even if you haven't experienced them yet. I don't remember the way I treated you the last time I was in the city, but I know I wasn't fair then, either. I can't just... come over here and expect to patch things up with you in one conversation.

[okay, maybe it was too early to say he was breathing easier than before. This is still too hard, and Derek has to start pacing around the room, his back facing Erica so he can talk and collect his thoughts without being overwhelmed with guilt whenever he sees her face.]

But listen. I think I've gone through things back home that I hadn't gone through the last time I was here. I mean, I'm a different person, now. I'm not angry anymore. I don't want to shut you or Isaac out. I just... miss you, because it's been so long since I've seen you. I miss you, and Isaac, and Boyd, and all the other people you might not have ever met.

I just had to make sure that you're alive, that you're okay, and that you're happy. That's all this is. I'm not going to make you talk to me or do anything you don't want to do. I can't ask you to let me in your life when all I've done is push you out of mine.